In a surprise — possible questionable or at least very silly — move, U.S. Senators Sam Brownback and Mary Landrieu have introduced the Human-Animal Hybrid Prohibition Act of 2009.
“This legislation works to ensure that our society recognizes the dignity and sacredness of human life,” said Brownback. “Creating human-animal hybrids, which permanently alter the genetic makeup of an organism, will challenge the very definition of what it means to be human and is a violation of human dignity and a grave injustice.”
The Human-Animal Hybrid Prohibition Act would ban the creation of human-animal hybrids. Human-animal hybrids are defined as those part-human, part-animal creatures, which are created in laboratories, and blur the line between species. The bill is modest in scope and only affects efforts to blur the genetic lines between animals and humans. It does not preclude the use of animals or humans in legitimate research or health care where genetic material is not passed on to future generations, such as the use of a porcine heart valve in a human patient or the use of a lab rat with human diseases to develop treatments.
Brownback continued, “This legislation is both philosophical and practical as it has a direct bearing upon the very essence of what it means to be human, and it draws a bright line with respect to how far we can go in attempting to create new creatures made with genes from both humans and animals.
This is an outrage! How am I and so many other proud Americans suppose to get our very own catgirl with a legislative move like this looming overhead? Unemployment is rising, troops are leaving Iraq only to be sent to Afghanistan, our new president can’t throw a pitch to save his life, but trying to ban the creation of catgirls is a high priority for over 20 U.S. Senators. Seriously!? Was Mew Mew Power a little too frightening for you?
I, for one, say this injustice needs to be tossed out faster than Nancy Pelosi smacking down Michael Jackson. How else am I going to raise money in my secret plot to build a weather controlling device to take over the world than by raising litters of catgirls to wear sexy clothes and be forced to work at my chain of “family friendly” restaurants around the world? Money doesn’t grow on trees and this job market isn’t going to be getting much better in the near future.